Done Up Like A Dogs Dinner

For the rich and famous who can be a little indecisive when will writing, some of the richer celebrities may be making headway in what to do with their millions when they die.

One New York billionaires who once said ‘only the little people pay taxes’ has taken charge of what happens to her dollars when she dies by leaving it all to dogs. Her family and friends get nothing while her dog – Trouble – gets several million dollars and dogs in general get billions.

This New York hotelier and real estate tycoon came up against her dilemma of what to do with so much money when it came to will writing and decided her ‘Queen of Mean’ image should stick after she dies. I’ve no doubt that wish has been brought to fruition – and not just for her meanness towards her employees!

An entire charitable trust valued at between five and eight billion dollars has been allocated for the care and welfare of dogs. There was an original plan when the billionaires first thought about will writing to leave a large amount of her estate for the aid of poor people but she obviously thought dogs would be a more worthy cause! There has been controversy over the will and it was claimed in court that she was not in her right mind when making her will so a judge ordered that her dog receive only $2 million instead of the planned $12 million.

Some stars prefer to leave their nearest and dearest out of their wills simply to teach them that life is hard and you only get somewhere by sheer hard work and determination. I, for one, think this a little mean. By all means, hold some back, but who in their right mind would not want to help their children out as best they could when they had the opportunity? Who would want to know that their children will struggle when they didn’t have to? Not so many years ago, it was the done thing that you worked hard all your life to leave some sort of a legacy for your children – not just a lesson that life is crap!

James Bond star, Sean Connery, has made headlines recently with the news that he will not be leaving any of his 85 pounds million fortune to his son, Jason. The relationship between father and son has, at times, been acrimonious over the years, and this is what has led to the difference of opinion. Connery states that he wants his son to learn the benefits of a career with hard work and to earn his own living. His own career began as barrow boy, lorry driver, labourer, coffin polisher, milkman and artist’s model so he certainly knows it’s no easy road.

This actor is not alone in the rich people that do not intend to smooth the future financial path for their offspring. Body Shop founder Anita Roddick gave away 51 pounds million to various sources before she died last year. Microsoft founder Bill gates and Paris Hilton’s rich grandfather have all dis-inherited their children for various reasons.

There are many emotive issues to take into consideration when will writing and many practicalities have to be covered also but at the end of the day, it truly is up to the individual as to what they do with their own money.

Legal expert Catherine Harvey looks at the way some people make will writing decisions that omit their families.

Utah Hospice Care; Helping People LIVE Until They Die

“We will do all we can, not only to help you die peacefully, but also to live until you die”. –Dame Cicely Saunders

In 1967 Dame Cicely Saunders at St. Christopher’s Hospice in London first applied the term “hospice” to specialized care for terminally ill and dying patients. Today, hospice care provides humane and compassionate care for people in the last phases of incurable disease so that they may live as fully and comfortably as possible in the time they have left.

Hospice is a philosophy of care. The Utah hospice care philosophy or viewpoint accepts death as the final stage of life, and the inevitable end of long term illness. The goal of Utah hospice care is to enable patients to enjoy an alert, pain-free life and to manage other symptoms so that their last days may be spent with dignity and quality, surrounded by loved ones. Utah hospice care affirms life and neither hastens or postpones death.

Utah hospice care treats the person rather than the disease; it focuses on the quality rather than the length of life. It provides family-centered care and involves the patient and the family in making decisions. Care is provided for the patient and family 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Utah hospice care can be given in the patient’s home, a hospital, nursing home, or private hospice facility. Most hospice care in the United States is given in the home, with a family member or members serving as the main hands-on caregiver.

Utah hospice care is suitable for individuals who no longer benefit from cancer, or other exhausting illness treatments and are expected to live 6 months or less. Hospice offers individuals palliative care, which is treatment to help relieve cancer or other illness-related symptoms, but not cure the disease; its main purpose is to improve the quality of life. You, your family, and your doctor decide together when Utah hospice care should begin.

One of the main problems facing hospice is that it is often not started soon enough. Sometimes the doctor, patient, or family member will resist hospice because he or she feels it sends a message of no hope of recovery. This is not true, if the patient gets better or the disease goes into remission, he or she can be taken out of the hospice program and go into active cancer treatment. The patient can re initiate Utah hospice care at a later time, if needed.

The hope that hospice brings is the hope of a quality life, making the best of each day during the last stages of advanced illness.

First Choice Home Health & Hospice (http://fchhh.com/) offers Utah hospice care to cancer patients in the final stages of their illness. The author Art Gib is a freelance writer.

A Spiritual Perspective on Sudden Infant Death

This was not a typical get-back-in-touch letter from a business associate who moved out of town some years ago. Instead, a mother wrote about the quiet death of her five-week-old daughter in the child’s car seat. It happened on the way to the home of baby’s grandparents, where the extended family was anticipating the arrival.

What should have been a joyous visit turned to stunned anguish.

Two and a half years later, the woman was just coming to terms with her tragic loss, which has a name: sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). There are all manner of statistics about SIDS, which annually in the United States claims roughly 7,000 babies between one month and one year old. There are several possible scientific theories about the causes of this still unexplained death of seemingly healthy infants.

Numbers and hypotheses, however, do little to assuage the agony of this most profound of losses. No parent should have to bury a child. It is an affront to the natural order of life. It is unjust and cruel. It hurts far worse than the cut of a knife or the impact of a bullet.

After the shock wears off, the nightmare sets in: painful feelings of rage, guilt, blame, recrimination, despair. Although so-called experts reassure the parents and other family members that they did nothing to cause this death, there is always that nagging doubt, always that what-if running in the back of the mind, always that yearning for a good-bye that never was said.

In the midst of such soul-troubling turmoil, words may seem useless or pointless. Even so, it might help, perhaps, to consider this tragedy from a spiritual perspective.

Our foremost consideration: death is never the end. The soul or spirit cannot die, and we need not take this assertion on faith alone. Having demonstrated that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, science backs up this assertion. The soul consists of energy–the energy of our thoughts, our feelings, our beliefs, our emotions. Since energy is indestructible, the spirit does not die even at the demise of the physical body.

All of us, then, are undying soul-energies on a spiritual path that involves taking on numerous physical bodies for multiple interludes on earth. Endowed with free will, we choose our parents and lifetimes, and we do not always choose wisely. Sometimes we have second thoughts about the particular situation in which we find ourselves. We may
decide to withdraw our soul-energy and seek a different path. What was an apparently healthy baby dies as a result.

The death brings profound loss and anguish–not just to the parents or other family members, but also to the spirit that was the embodied child. And there is, rightly, a time and space for this grieving, and it is different for each being. We cannot “just get over it” until we are ready to do so, and we may need weeks, months, years, or even several lifetimes.

It is possible, however, for grieving parties to attain a measure of resolution once they are prepared to move on. The mother above wrote about attending a mind-body spirit retreat and, in a healing meditation, brought her daughter back into her heart. Doing so helped her move out of the denial stage of her grief and toward the resolution she so desperately needs.

Heart-centered mediation is an excellent tool for assuaging the grief from loss, whether of a child or any other loved one. This type of meditation can help both those still in body and those no longer on earth by providing a space and place to meet and converse in spirit.

A future column will outline the simple steps involved in a heart-centered meditation.

Candace (C.L.) Talmadge is the author of the epic fantasy Green Stone of Healing(R) series and a political columnist syndicated by North Star Writers Group. As StoneScribe, she blogs about the intersection of politics and spirituality.

Some Of The More Unusual Wills

Will writing is one of the most important documents you will be author to in your entire life. It is the last possible thing you can say to your loved ones, or others, before you are shuffled off this mortal coil.

And many take advantage of this. Some take their demise dead seriously and use it as a time to declare their undying love to their families, leaving them in agonising emotional turmoil but in no uncertainty about how you felt about them.

Some use will writing as the opportunity to have the last laugh on people they thing took advantage of them in life. Wealthy people often feel that their so-called friends are their friends because of their money and this is often the case. They get the last laugh by leaving all their worldly goods to their pets or the local dogs home or some other insignificant weird benefactor.

After kicking the bucket in 1991, a famous German Countess left 139 million German marks to her pet dog who then went on to live in the lap of luxury with a personal maid, chauffeur and custom built swimming pool.

A Danish woman no doubt took great delight at leaving all she had to a troupe of monkeys in the local zoo. Maybe she knew that in keeping with the law, the will would have to be read out to the benefactors which is exactly what the law abiding lawyer did.

Leo Tolstoy was a well known author but when it came to will writing he chose to demonstrate his mis-trust of people by bequeathing all his worldly goods to a tree stump in his garden. I wonder if the will was read out to this stump?

According to the history books, one Frenchman left all he had to the first person that could prove they had made contact with beings from another world. As expected, it has still been unclaimed. Unlike the affects of the Finnish will writing author who left all his worldly chattels to the devil. The government took it. Quite fitting really!

Of course, it’s not just money and possessions that can be left in a will. You can also leave requests for action , just like the man that left an order to surgeons to be paid to operate on him six days after death ensuring that his necrosis was complete and not some medical blunder.

Many wills are written by people that are simply eccentric and they turn up in the oddest places. The back of a wrist watch, the back of a postage stamp and even chalked on the back of a door. This whole door ended up having to be removed and taken to court as evidence.

Of course, one of the biggest problems solicitors face when dealing with wills is the possibility of forgeries. If a will is written on such items that have been documented, such as the rung of a stepladder, a matchbox or a petticoat then this doesn’t necessarily constitute ill will. However, it pays to look at the deceased usual behaviour. If they were of sound mind and body and not normally prone to eccentric behaviour, then the possibility of this type of will being taken as a fake should definitely be looked into.

Legal expert Catherine Harvey looks at how will writing can be quite diverse.

Why A Living Will Is An Essential Part Of Your Estate Plan

Winning the lottery? Writing a hit song? Having someone make medical decisions for you?

The first two may be unlikely, but more often than you may think, a stranger may make life or death decisions for you. There is a simple way to avoid this situation, but many people put if off for various reasons. What is it? A living will.

A living will is your written declaration which clearly states your wishes regarding the treatments you want or do not want in the event of a terminal illness or serious accident. It allows you to decide who you would want to make this decision if you are unable to do so.

In such a situation, most people would want to ease the burden placed upon their family and friends if they could. A living will makes it easier for your family and friends when they are faced with a crisis situation. It allows them to follow your wishes, which eases the pressures on them and helps avoid family disputes.

A living will has nothing to do with your property after your death, but protects your right to be treated in a particular manner before your death. It also does not deny you medication for pain although some paid medications may hasten death in certain medical circumstances.

After choosing to create a living will, the most important decision is deciding upon your personal health care representative. This should be a person you trust and who is emotionally stable to relay your wishes. Although many times this person is a family member, it does not have to be so. It could be your best friend, a companion or a religious person. Whoever it is, it is someone you trust to follow your wishes. It is also a good idea to have an alternate health care representative in case your first choice is unavailable.

Just as seasons and styles change, your relationship with your health care representative may change. A living will is flexible and may be changed at any time so long as you are mentally competent. It is also a good idea to review your estate planning documents such as a living will, power of attorney and last will and testament every few years to ensure they reflect your current wishes and situation.

So often our life is filled with missed chances. So do not delay. The next step is yours. Speak to your family, your family doctor or your religious advisor. Telling someone your wishes or writing them down on a piece of paper is a good start, but it is not legally binding. Decide what your choice would be and contact an attorney to help you convey your decision.

Nicholas Giuditta, an attorney in Cranford, NJ, has been assisting people in making their estate decisions for twenty years. For more information about living wills or estates, you may contact him at 908-709-1999 or visit his website at http://www.giudittalaw.com.

Best Flowers to Show Sympathy

People use flowers for a number of reasons. They are sent to others when something great has happened in their life, as an expression of love, for encouragement, and also for sympathy. They are a way in which people let others know that they are thinking about them in both good times and in bad, but it is in the bad times when someone needs to know that they are supported, especially in a time of grief.

Flowers for sympathy

Flowers for sympathy are certainly not meant to take away the pain that comes during a grieving time. However, this gesture is a great way to let other family members and friends know that they are not alone in their grief; that they have always got someone by their side. It is an honorable gesture, a gesture of kindness, and one of respect. The act shows those grieving how the life of the deceased touched the life of the one sending the flowers.

The best sympathy flowers

The debate on what flowers are the best sympathy flowers has been ongoing for quite some time. Some may say lilies are the best while others say yellow roses are a great expression of sympathy. Many people have their preferences and their favorites. You’ve probably even sat in a funeral home, looking at all of the different flower arrangements and thought, “that is an interesting choice of flower.” It is not at all common to see flowers that do not look like the traditional funeral flower.

However, the flowers that seems to be favored and have proven to be an adequate choice for sympathy flowers is those flowers that are composed of many different colors. It is amazing how many buying flowers for sympathy do not think of the colors of the flowers. Then again, there are many who do. Even something as simple as picking out your favorite colors can be adequate.

What is ideal is buying flowers that were the favorite colors of the deceased, if that is known, and even finding out what their favorite flower was. If not known, pastels make a great choice and it is always safe to go with lilies and roses. A light pastel red makes a wonderful color of flower to show sympathy.

Real VS Artificial

The sender of the flowers usually makes the decision to use real or artificial flowers. Real flowers smell very sweet and give the grieving a comfortable feeling. However, the sender usually states that they want a particular arrangement to go to a specific person and may want the flowers to last them for a while once in their home. Many times these flowers may have a candle or another centerpiece included with them, which makes it ideal to choose artificial flowers.

If the sender knows if the person receiving the flowers likes real or artificial, that is a great way to solve that dilemma when buying sympathy flowers. The idea is to give the grieving individual something that can be enjoyed in their time of grief.

The perfect flowers

With this said, it is fair to say that the best sympathy flowers are going to be those that are colorful. The flowers should also be either a favorite flower of the deceased or the person receiving the arrangement. If not sure, then roses and lilies make a great choice. Whether or not to buy real flowers or artificial flowers depends on what you would like the recipient to use them for. If you want to provide an environment that is comfortable, then the sweet aroma of real flowers can be quite soothing.

Sympathy Flowers are an expression to show to the loved ones support in a time of grief. Find the perfect Toronto flowers for any occasion and have them delivered to your loved ones domestically or internationally.

Sympathy Cards: What Do I Say?

One of the most difficult cards to send to a family or friend is a sympathy card. Why? Because if you are like us, you have many mixed feeling on what is truly appropriate for the situation.

But never underestimate the powerful message you convey by just sending a card at a time of grief. While many ask that donations be given in lieu of flowers, it is always appropriate to send a card to honor the departed one.

If you are reluctant to send a card, just because you don’t know what to say, don’t give up! Review the following lists of phrases and read each one out loud. Place a checkmark by the ones that sound “natural” and appear to be a fit for your situation. Work with it until it feels right, combine or adapt them to meet the unique situation.

If you are a spiritual person you may want to choose a phrase like:
- You and your family are in our prayers.
- We ask God to send his blessings on your during this difficult time.
- You and your family member will be lifted up in our prayer group this month.
- God is here for you with comfort and peace.
- Our prayers and blessing surround you with peace.

Some people may be intimidated to mention prayer, especially if they are not regular church attendees, so some good choices would be:
- You and your family are in my thoughts.
- With deepest sympathy.
- Our hearts go out to you in this time of loss.
- Our heartfelt condolences go out to you at this time.
- We are thinking of you.
- We loved your (father, mother, sister, brother) very much and share in your loss.
- We were very sorry to hear about the passing of (name of deceased).
- I am here for you when you need to talk, cry or smile about (name of deceased).

This is NOT a time where you need to go into details. One sentence with your signature can be sufficient to let your friend know you care and you are there for them. Send a card as soon as you hear the news. Then follow-up with another card to focus on the survivor and let them know you are there to help them through the grieving process.

If you are sending a card to someone that is of a different religion, and you are unfamiliar with their grieving process, take a few moments to conduct web-based research about what is acceptable and not. They will appreciate you taking the time to send them an appropriate sympathy card.

If you feel inclined, and were close to the deceased person, you may want to send a short heartwarming story about how the deceased made a difference in your life or in the lives of others. This is a time to celebrate the uniqueness of that individual and help establish ways to remember them for the goodness and happiness they brought to others.

This message will become a cherished memory that lives on for many years. Your thoughtfulness to share this special moment with that family member will lift their spirits and help them to focus on the positive.

Another way to share a memory is to put together a collage of pictures and phrases that were meaningful to the survivors and / or the deceased. Perhaps there were special vacation spots, annual family gatherings or traditions that were continued based upon the leadership and participation of that family member.

Having cards that show the person smiling, in good health, hugging and sharing special moments with family are priceless. And adding a short note about how the person was a great bbq chef, or knew how to arrange flowers just the right way or even how just there smile lit up a room can bring joy into the grieving hearts of those that mourn their loss.

If you did not know the deceased personally but are friends or business acquaintances with someone who has suffered a loss, don’t try to make up a story. Just focus on letting your friend know that you are there for them. By simply saying ” I am here if you need someone to talk to”, may be very comforting to that person and just what they need to hear.

And don’t be afraid to offer condolences to pet owners. So many folks young and old have pets that are truly members of their families.

My mother recently lost her cat Morris, who lived through all of his nine-lives to the ripe old age of 24. Morris and my mom had been through a lot together and I knew she was very sad to part with him. I found a simple little card and wrote a quick little line to comfort her. The next time we spoke she told me how important that sympathy card was to her, since Morris was “her child”.

Finally, what about e-cards in this situation? My advice is to always send a REAL card. Even if the card does not arrive in time for the funeral, it will be appreciated. Many people keep the cards they receive and read them time and time again to help them get closure on their loss.

We hope this article was useful and that you will print it and save it for future reference.

Scott and Karen Miller make it a habit to send cards to friends and family everyday. Be a part of the online community that shares thoughts on how to use cards to connect to one another and enrich lives with positive messages.
My Heartfelt Cards

You Must Know That Depression Can Kill You

Unfortunately the depression is today statistically one of the first causes of death

And the question that immediately arises after this statement is…

Hoy have we reached this point?

The answer is that the civilization does not evolve equally in all its fields. Today we can find in our homes, things that where unbelievable only 100 years ago, but there are also great social inequities, with a level of information never reached before, and the fact that we can instantly know all the bad things that happen around the world (good news don’t sell well), plus a constant publicity bombarding that tells us that there are people that live much better than we do, or that we lack of what it’s necessary to be really happy…

Before these facts, some trend to migrate to other countries, to places where they will be foreigners forever, and where they will only reach (if they do it) a partial social adaptation, generally evolving among other groups of immigrants that have their same origin.

Others (in fact most of the people) will feel frustrated because they can’t reach “that” that it’s shown to us as so desirable and common for other people. Some will then opt to become a delinquent to get it any way, or for a frenetic fight to reach it (that many times ends up with their lives), or just will just become depressed.

So with all our technology the suffering has grown up and today’s uneasiness produce a growth of the depressive situations.

Marriage has also become a victim of the changes of the era, and while for our grand fathers was an unspeakable word, and for our fathers a not so often problem, today people gets divorced not only in alarming proportions, but we can also easily find people that have gone through three of four important couple breaks.

And all this loses, although today’s society doesn’t condemn them, are to be assumed and processed through stress, suffering and depression.

What is the depression?

There isn’t a general agreement about what the depression is. For some professionals is a reaction to a de-compensation, while others consider it a real sickness.

But there isn’t an only kind of depression, because among this group we will find:
* The mourning for the lost of a dear one
* The melancholy
* The lack of hope
* The frustration
* The sadness
* The bipolar illnesses
* Some chemical organic malfunctions
* Etc.

It’s obvious that we must distinguish between a chemical organic malfunction (as the lack of Lithium), from the depression produced by the lost of our job, the bipolar illnesses (where people go from depression to extreme exiting), or the sadness because we have being rejected for someone that we love.

There are some mourning processes that are not only normal but even desirable. We can’t pretend to be immune before the painful life’s circumstances, because the only logic thing is that they hurt us, and that we recover from them with a healthy psychic recovering process.

But the differences in the reactions come from two different causes:

First: There isn’t an agreement (and it can’t be) about what should produce depression and what shouldn’t. Each individual has his own value scale, and what for some is an annoyance, for other is the cause of a great pain, and for a third one could be a drama.

Second: It’s not the same when life strikes one that has a good relationship with his body, his family and his friends, that when it does it to someone that feels absolutely invaded by the situation, and doesn’t know (or doesn’t have) where to go to receive support.

How does it feel to be depressed?

Only one that has suffered it, can know what does it feel to be depressed, but in general the depression is a soul fall, a state of grief many times merged with frustration, self reproach, and a lack of will to meet people or do things.

It’s a moment when people trend to close over their own selves, a moment where they build as a dark cocoon where the victim gets into, and feels that no one can help him or understand what he feels. It’s a feeling that invites to stay alone in a dark room.

But all these are only generalities, only each person knows how he feels, and every person reacts as they can or as they know. Some overload themselves with activity, as a way of denying what they feel, some ask for help, and others know within themselves how to overcome that situation.

What is important is to know that being depressed is normal, that to some is more painful than to others, but it’s only one of the normal reactions of the human being. It’s not an incurable sickness, or something strange that only happens to us. It’s only a problem, an obstacle on our way, and as such it can be overcome.

It is also important to say, that one thing is the person that goes through a mourning that takes a short time, and day by day is left behind, and other thing the person that sinks into a melancholy state where the mourning becomes eternal and begins to merge with their daily life because they are not able to recover from it..

Is the depression something serious?

Suffering is no doubt something serious, and most for the one that suffers. For that reason we mustn’t think that who’s depressed is pretending or doesn’t’ have why to be depressed or for so much time.

Each one lives his mourning as he knows or as he can, and it is not something that we choose, it’s something that it’s felt. Then, the first thing to consider is that no one makes a mistake with his feelings

When a person feels desolated, sad or depressed, we can agree or not if the reasons to be depressed are enough or if the time that it takes is too much, but we can’t think that they are wrong, if they say that they are depressed we must believe that they are not feeling well, and see if we can help them to come out from that situation.

The depression is something that should be taken seriously, and it’s something that we should tell to our doctor, because as I have said before, sometimes comes because of a lack of certain chemical products in our body, and sometimes lead to the suicide.
It should also be considered that the depression state it’s something not so easy to identify oneself. The depressed person has a distorted vision of the reality. “Everything depends on the color of the glass through which you watch at”, and who’s depressed sees everything through a dark glass, and not always is able to be aware about what he needs to come out from there, and much less how to come out from there.

Author of THE SECRET of The Magic Lamp and it’s 42 Self Help CD with Subliminal Messages, that can be found at http://www.drbonomi.com Depression CD is #9
Also author of The Easy Home Business Web Site at http://www.easy-home-business.com

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Law Changes Regarding Making A Will

Look into most UK laws and you will find origins dating back to Roman times. They may well have invaded our country but they bought with them many benefits, being way ahead of their times in matters of order and rights.

They can be held pretty much responsible for many laws governing making a will also. Many countries had no propensity to enforce where a person’s belongings went to on their death and if today’s standards are anything to go by, this could have led to many family feuds.

Many laws also came from Ancient Greece regarding making a will, although various parts of the country had their own take on it. Most areas under Roman jurisdiction or Greek would specify that when making a will, the family of the deceased should inherit everything. This was to ensure the continuation of that family.

Some local rulers in Greece agreed that greater ties could be made between friends rather than family and would allow considerations for this when their citizens were making a will. No women or adoptees were allowed to make wills and slaves or foreigners possessions would be seized upon death for public use.

To be of sound mind when making a will and to be under no duress were important rules that all law makers have kept when will writing and that still stand today. It would seem Ancient Greeks and Romans put a lot more store by the influence a woman could have over her husband and any cajoling or encouragement that might influence his decisions would make the will void.

The Romans considered making a will to be their moral duty. If they wished to disinherit a child it had to be for a good, provable reason and they had to leave them a minor monetary token to show their disproval. To die without leaving a will brought shame on the deceased and their family.

If a person is left out of a will entirely these days it does not show bad morals, just the will makers intention to disinherit. Romans could not contest part of a will like we can today. The will should stand or fall entirely, whereas now parts of a will can be upheld while others can be argued.

The effects of Christianity on making a will were quite profound. They instilled a duty to bequeath a certain proportion of belongings or money to the Church. Priests overtook law makers as witnesses to wills and they were often kept in churches.

This, in part, went a long way to making churches rich and, ultimately, to them being poor when this was no longer a requirement.

Trends regarding making a will had altered in mainland Britain by the 1600’s. Girls of 12 and boys of 14 were now allowed to make wills leaving their personal effects. These changes were probably due to the fact that people were marrying at a much younger age and also dying at a very young age.

Will making has always been seen as a very serious business. The Larceny Act of 1861 shows that the crime of stealing, damaging or concealing a will was punishable by penal servitude for the rest of the criminal’s life. Forgery of a will also came with the same punishment, although this had been reduced from the death penalty.

Since 1897 when the last changes to will making laws were made governing land transfer were introduced, there have been no major alterations. However, I am very pleased to say that the ancient rule of women only being allowed to make a will with their husband’s permission has long been abolished.

Legal expert Catherine Harvey looks at the laws governing making a will and how they have changed over the years. To find out more please visit http://www.willdrafters.com/

Eulogy for Elma or All That Matters is What We Do Between Birth and Death

Elma died last Friday and today we went to the funeral. There were a good number of people in the church but most of them in their eighties. Elma had a lot of friends. There were some tears and some sniffling but mostly there were smiles and warm greetings. Elma left little in terms of material possessions but she left a full story and lived a meaningful life. Elma was 97 when she died.

For over 20 years Elma was our neighbor down the street. In the last years when she used a walker and couldn’t get out much the wife would visit once or twice a week. I didn’t stay long as they liked to talk lady chit chat but Elma would always want me to sit down and have some ice cream or cake. Elma was a big woman that loved to eat her own home cooked food.

Elma was born in Montana on a dairy ranch in 1910. She had eight brothers and sisters and she was the last to pass away. Growing up on the ranch she had to get up at 4:00 in the morning and either milk or fix the food. Her job was baking bread and with a dozen ranch hands that required a lot of bread.

I always kidded her about the Montana winters and she said she would never go back in winter; she went back several times in the summer. She said back in the old days they had to wrap their legs with cloth to keep them from becoming frostbitten and she said she would never do that again. And she didn’t.

Elma was smart and had she been born in another era she would have gone to college. She was also smart enough to want to leave the farm for a better life. After finishing high school she moved to Butte against her father’s wishes where she worked as secretary in a doctor’s office. One day she met a nice young man, she married him and they moved to California to seek a new future.

As Elma was taking her last trip in her casket to the cemetery I remembered that although she believed devoutly in God she was not the biggest fan of the church. Somehow God wasn’t the problem; man was. She often complained that her relatives were too religious…maybe that came from growing up way out on a ranch.

She lived through the depression and two World Wars. Unlike her neighbor Helen, she came through the Depression a bit wary and shaken but without a broken spirit. Helen on the other hand was obsessed with each nickel and dime though she had more money than she needed…Helen was afraid the Depression was going to return and she wanted to make certain she would not go hungry this time. Her greed possessed her.

Elma wasn’t worried about any Depression. Elma worried about Helen coming over to mooch food, even when Elma was in her wheelchair. Helen would stop by every evening at dinner time to ‘check in’ on her dear friend Elma. Funny. Helen’s family couldn’t stand her and they didn’t even have a service for her when she died; greed is its own reward or something like that.

What Elma couldn’t get used to was the continuing rise in the cost of living and the changing social norms of the day. Elma wasn’t a prude by any means but she just could not see how some of the modern relationships worked and why people would ever live their lives that way; she thought the California mix and match mates style was simply foolish. Back in Montana folks just didn’t do things that way; no need to.

For one thing, the Montana folks worked very hard and Elma liked working and staying busy. For many years she worked down the street at the soda fountain at Fred’s Mission Pharmacy. It’s a guitar store now. Elma loved people and she loved being out amongst them. The only thing that slowed her down in later life was her wheelchair.

Elma also had an edge; always friendly but with an edge. She would get upset and show it; always containing her temper but readily expressing her disapproval. She and the wife would play Crazy Eights and Elma would invite me to play but I usually declined. Elma seemed to understand. She always thanked me for allowing the wife to spend time with her as if it were an imposition on her part.

But funerals are for the living, not the dead. Elma left us but life continues and Elma’s grandson Mark and his wife are expecting. Elma’s certainly smiling over that.

There were a few sniffles but no real sobbing tears. Elma lived a meaningful life of 97 years and died surrounded by the people she loved which is about all any of us can expect out of life. All that matters is what comes between birth and death.

As the saying goes, do not take life too seriously because you will never get out of it alive.

Good-bye Elma, rest in peace.

Jack Deal is the owner of Jack D. Deal Business Consulting. Related articlesmay be found at http://www.jddeal.com/blog/personal_development and http://www.freeandinquiringmind.typepad.com

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